Overcoming envy and jealousy with gratitude

Overcoming envy and jealousy with gratitude

By Elaina Simpson, C.S.

From the November 2026 issue of The Christian Science Journal (See link for audio)

It’s not always easy to admit that we’ve been jealous or envious, even though we each have probably felt that way at some point or another. As we face the need for repentance in our prayers, we might ask, Is it really worth it to work on overcoming envy and jealousy? I’ve found that the answer is: absolutely. Letting go of these emotions opens us up to the presence of spiritual good—and Christian Science gives us exactly the tools we need to do so. One of the ways we can be set free is through deeper gratitude.

Let’s start with the distinction between jealousy and envy. These two words are often used interchangeably, but some see envy as the desire for something someone else possesses, while jealousy may involve the fear that someone or something will take away what you already have. Both stem from the same root: a fear that good can be lost, or maybe isn’t even present at all. 

In Christian Science, we learn that good is spiritual and has its source in omnipotent God—and therefore can never truly be taken from us. It may be tempting to think that a little envy or jealousy is harmless, even normal, but seeing that these emotions aren’t in alignment with our spiritual identity, we can turn thought toward God, good. This step is foundational to healing.

The Ten Commandments from the Old Testament offer a springboard and guide. I find it interesting that many of the Commandments seem related to envy and jealousy, and that working prayerfully with even just one can bring profound healing. The reason we can live these Commandments is that divine Love reveals our spiritually good nature—making obedience less a matter of willpower and more of a natural unfolding of our recognition that we can never lose or lack anything good.

The First Commandment, “Thou shalt have no other gods before me,” strikes at both envy and jealousy. Jealousy would make a god out of something we possess, fearing its loss, while envy makes a god out of something we believe we lack, overshadowing the recognition of God as our only source of good. Both are distractions from all the good that is available. The Second Commandment, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image,” follows naturally—because when we fixate on what we don’t have or idolize what belongs to another, we fashion a graven image of it in our thinking.

How “Thou shalt not kill” relates may seem less obvious, yet envy and jealousy have been the driving force behind some of humanity’s gravest conflicts—wars over territory, resources, or religion, rooted in a fear that good is scarce. The Seventh and Eighth Commandments, “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and “Thou shalt not steal,” speak to the actions that result when these mistaken beliefs about a lack of good go unhealed. And the Tenth Commandment is perhaps the most directly related to envy and jealousy: “Thou shalt not covet. . . .” To covet means to strongly desire something, especially what belongs to another. 

As the calendar approached Thanksgiving Day, I prayed deeply about gratitude.

God’s children, as spiritual ideas reflecting God’s image and likeness, in reality are obedient to and naturally carry out these Commandments. Adhering to them is the basis for healing. When challenges arise, knowing God as all good gives us the humility and wisdom to meet the needs of each occasion. Christ Jesus took these concepts even further when he spoke of the kingdom of heaven not being far away. He said, “Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 4:17)—a call to turn away from limited, material thinking and recognize what is already spiritually ours.

When our second son arrived, my husband and I took every footstep we could to ensure that our family’s transition of adding a sibling would be smooth. When my older son first met his baby brother, I made sure the newborn was in his bassinet so I could greet my older son with arms open, fully present. Ours is a bond difficult to put into words. We are best buddies, together every day, and he had always wanted a little brother. I was glad to see him gently showering the baby with hugs and kisses from the start. He loved him, but the ongoing transition of sharing mom and dad was a little bumpy.

After a while, it became evident this situation needed consistent, dedicated prayer. My son and I started to sing hymns at bedtime together that pointed to God as the only true Father and Mother of all of us, a divine Parent that cannot be taken away. Since God is All, and perfect good, this good cannot be divided.

As the calendar approached Thanksgiving Day, I prayed deeply about gratitude, which I found to be the opposite of fear-induced envy or jealousy, and my sense of our family’s freedom was deepening some. I had never considered myself an envious person. I felt I often championed others’ successes and saw their good as from God. But now it still felt as if I was hitting a mental wall. 

A false sense of measuring matter might suggest unfairness, but it never really reveals anything about the true spiritual reality. 

Mary Baker Eddy notes in Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, “If the case is that of a young child or an infant, it needs to be met mainly through the parent’s thought, silently or audibly on the aforesaid basis of Christian Science” (p. 412). I had been working on my own perception about my child. But over time, I began to see how I had been struggling with something that felt unfair. My husband and I had been working diligently in our jobs and family life, and while we had felt so blessed, we were putting in a lot of time and effort, and I often thought about how we didn’t have much downtime. I found myself often thinking of the ease that others seemed to have—and suddenly realized how I’d been letting a little envy in.

In my prayer, I saw that we don’t need to go around with a mental measuring stick, trying to survey human good to figure out what’s fair. My practice of gratitude for God’s goodness quickly pulled me up. I knew we could do all that was required of us by God without mental complaint.

The more I prayed, the more the topic of envy and jealousy arose in my experience. In one instance, a sweet note even came in the mail from someone who had previously wanted something I had; this had posed a challenge. Now, over a decade later, this person apologized. I had previously forgiven them, but now I felt I had been mentally prepared to receive the note. The love that impelled the note erased even the slightest sting of the memory of the challenge. Forgiveness of this person had been grounded in the fact that no child of God can lack any good nor take from another, because good comes from God alone. The Bible proclaims, “Whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it” (Ecclesiastes 3:14).

The parable of the prodigal son was also helpful to me during this time. When the prodigal returned home, his older brother struggled with jealousy—fearing that his previously wayward sibling was receiving more favor, despite years of his own faithfulness to his father. Christ Jesus cuts through the older brother’s self-justification with a single, luminous statement from the father: “Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine” (Luke 15:31). The father in this story represents God, with His constant, ever-present love for each of us—a love that withholds nothing and can never be diminished by what another receives. 

Studying the prodigal son parable, I saw how a false human sense of measuring matter might suggest unfairness, but it never really reveals anything about the true spiritual reality, a reality that is always infinitely good. This is what the father was really saying to his son. The son had never left his post, but he had been taken care of and provided for the entire time. He’d never lacked anything.

One evening before bed, my older son told me that in school he was learning the song “Coat of Many Colors” by Dolly Parton. This song speaks to how our good is not dependent on material circumstances, however modest, and it has to do with the Bible story of Joseph, whose jealous brothers took his coat of many colors and threw him into a pit. My son and I talked about this story. That opened up a discussion about gratitude, showing us the nowness of God’s goodness, and my son expressed how grateful he was for his new brother. He then began mentioning his gratitude every evening after this, saying his brother was his best friend. Eventually, there was a notable difference in their relationship, and things felt significantly more harmonious in our household. 

Giving gratitude for the “right now” of spiritual good is powerful. It brings adjustment and freedom. It dissolves thought patterns that habitually focus on what we seem to lack. So is addressing envy and jealousy worth it? Absolutely.  Elaina

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